This past Saturday I attended the first of nine training sessions on developing skills for Christian evangelization, a 45 hour program sponsored by the diocese. I made the acquaintance of some nice people and some weird people. I'll talk about the weird people later.

Of course I was late because I didn't trust my Google map but, when I finally found the place, someone was nice enough to get me a chair and squish me to an already full table. There were ice-breakers right from the start and I am so nervous one-on-one that I could barely muster the courage to maintain eye contact. We had to share with our one-on-one partner our name and home parish and most joyful day of our lives. So I said my wedding day, thinking of my darling husband home watching the three young boys. And my conversation partner said the day her grandchild was born. Oh, but you don't look old enough to have grandchildren, I naturally flattered back and it seemed true. Later I learned, during another ice-breaker of "two truths and a lie" that my partner was divorced for 25 years already! Oh, that's a long, LONG time, I said, putting my foot in my mouth, not once but twice because, you remember, I had already said that my wedding day was the most joyful day of my life. And I remember that she said, well, that's great, for some people it is. This is why I'm no good at conversation because I always say something hurtful to a wounded soul.

I was thrilled that I not only stumped my entire group with my two truths and a lie but I also guessed everyone else's lie exactly. So, my husband said that, by rights, I should have been expelled because they don't want my kind in there. One guy said "I love Scripture. I love baseball and I have three children and four cats." Well, no one would LIE about loving Scripture. And, the longer the statement, the more likely it's true (test taking tip #43). And with the Super Bowl coming up, like most men, he's got football on his mind and even if he loves baseball in the early spring, all summer and into fall, he LOVES football now. Men live in the NOW. Besides, he was a big, husky guy, so he probably played. Later, during a break, I tried to break the ice with him a little more and asked him, since he loved Scripture, what his favorite passage was. He didn't take long to reply but he could barely quote it - Romans 8:38-39.

During lunch, I fell in with the charismatics unwittingly. Well, they are everywhere, aren't they? I entered the conversation, not knowing that they were charismatics because they were saying unapproving things about Protestant worship and having just attended a Methodist service with my Pentecostal friend, I thought I could offer my two cents (had to get the blog name in). The man who did most of the talking mentioned Wisdom 4 about the untimely death of a young man. It had been a couple of years since I had meditated on Wisdom 4 but I was familiar with it and I affirmed to him that it is a beautiful passage. And he said something polemical about it being torn from Protestant Bibles and I should have known what I was in for but failed to assess matters quickly enough. The canon question is just more complicated than the average Christian realizes. I let it go because I don't understand it well enough myself to share it with someone else. I did ask them to explain - because they were talking about the baptism of the Holy Spirit - the line from the Creed which says that we believe in one baptism. I take that to mean, not only "one" as in one time, once, but also "one" in form, uniform, one mode, one shape, one rite. So, I understand the Creed to be speaking of baptism by water and the Spirit. I'm not saying that the Spirit can't "fall afresh" but is it proper to call it a baptism? Well, they tried to answer my question with patient charity, asking me whether I remember my infant baptism or not (what difference does that make?) but I felt written off as a neophyte or something worse just for asking a question. I did tell them the story that I heard about an American charismatic delegation going to the Vatican in the late 60's / early 70's and the only cardinal who received them was Joseph Ratzinger, so, I said that they had a great friend in Pope Benedict. They were not flattered. For all I know, they are SSPX members, too! Actually, the woman sitting next to me might be Opus Dei. If I remember, I'll ask her next month. Anyway, by the end of the meal, they were all denying that they were charismatics, only that they attend charismatic prayer meetings or their spouses are charismatics or whatever. I was happy to return to my small group after lunch and I noted where they sat together near the middle of the room.

In the afternoon, we shared how we grew in our understanding of the person of Jesus Christ and I rattled mine off quickly because I know that people aren't really interested. Others seemed to start their stories from time immemorial, "Well, my parents attended church regularly and THEIR parents attended church regularly, so I've just grown up in the church." Our instructor was quick to point out the average person's 30 second attention span and the tedium of including so much of our life story. His testimony was alright; it was interesting, actually.

Well, we'll see if I get through this training. The boys were very happy to see me, especially the baby, when I got home. I don't have any problem being away all day, but they miss me and the housework piles up.