The ladies at the Presbyterian church are on retreat this weekend.

I'm not really attending their Bible study this year, yet I was indirectly invited on retreat by one of them who moved to TN almost two years ago. She urged me to attend for the sake of seeing her. I haven't seen her since the last time she was up to NJ more than a year ago. But I always decline their invitation because the format doesn't sound like my style: I got the "skit" approach to spirituality out of my system a long time ago.

As it turned out, the weather affected my Tennessee friend's ability to reach the retreat in, well, they usually go to Valley Forge/King of Prussia,¹ for the shopping. She didn't make it. And I had good reason to be at home this weekend as well.

But I am craving a retreat. It's probably been five years. A lady at the C&MA church emailed out their spring retreat brochure the week before last. It's in Cape May at the end of April. I've always wanted to go to Cape May and off-season is probably the best I can do. The schedule or order of the retreat days, however, didn't impress me. Friday night, after a travel day, alright, shouldn't be too involved. But after some announcements and worship and meeting with the weekend's speaker, there's 90 minutes of some icebreaker called "The Amazing Race" Game?! Would it be necessary to have ever seen the show on TV to participate? Then "Pool & Spa Time," which ought to go without saying unless it's said in an effort to entice me.

Next day, morning prayer at 7 for 45 minutes. OK, that's a good start but I bet we won't be kneeling. Then breakfast and another 30 minutes of worship (plus an offering). Then an hour from the guest speaker. Then an hour of "breakout time," which I would imagine is practical application of the speaker's lecture.² Lunch and then "Missions Hour" which might be a time to pray for missions or hear pitches from missionaries? I don't know. This is a C&MA-affliated retreat. Then after this (but I'd duck out early and have even more time!), there's more than three hours allotted for recreation:

Shopping, Sightseeing, Trolley Tours, Kite Flying, Beach Walking, Bookstore, Indoor Pool & Spa

Plus 75 minutes for dinner. Conceivably, four and a half hours on Saturday afternoon would be "personal time." Almost certainly I would be solo while cliques did "cool things" together. Then worship, the speaker, pool & spa 'til 11. Sunday morning has no church service planned, unless thirty minutes of praise music combined with the guest speaker's 75 minute talk qualifies as "church." Retreat Sunday is basically "the four last things": worship, breakfast, lecture, leave.

I told myself if I could find, through masstimes.org, a 4 o'clock vigil liturgy, I'd seriously consider the retreat. The cost ($400) is a little steep but I doubt I'd spend any more than that, say, shopping. Even the onsite bookstore (Berean Bible Bookstore of Lafayette) probably wouldn't be much of a temptation.

Our Lady Star of the Sea supposedly has a 4 o'clock service. But then I was reminded that we have tickets to hear "Classic Albums Live" perform The Beatles ("The White Album") at NJPAC in Newark that Saturday night, the last Saturday in April. I couldn't imagine missing that show. In other words, I couldn't imagine driving down to Cape May on Friday afternoon, only to return on Saturday afternoon. Next year is another year -- L 'Shana Haba'a B'yerushalayim ... in Cape May!

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¹ Actually, another retreatant just told me they had The Traber Center, a Christian conference center, to themselves for the weekend.

² I'm afraid I'm talking myself into this retreat instead of convincing myself it's frivolous!

Sunday Snippets - a Catholic carnival hosted by Rann at "This That and the Other Thing."

• My submission this week: "Friday's Stations of the Cross"

Angela Marie Skelton
Angela Marie Skelton, 41, of Cranford, N.J., passed away on Feb. 25, 2010, in her home after a long battle with cancer. A Mass of Christian Burial will be on Wednesday, March 3, at 9:30 a.m. at St. Michael's Church in Cranford. Calling hours will be on Tuesday, March 2, at Dooley Funeral Home, 218 North Ave. W., Cranford, from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. Angela was born on April 23, 1968, in Utica, N.Y., the daughter of Anthony and Lenore Stoio of Whitesboro, N.Y., where she graduated from high school in 1986. She was a 1990 graduate of Utica College of Syracuse University, and earned her master's of science degree from Seton Hall University in 1993. Since 1990, Angela worked at Schering-Plough Pharmaceuticals as a research scientist, a job she cherished until her disease took it away from her. She played on various softball teams at Schering and loved her time as a member of the Snapshots, a team that allowed her for form friendships that lasted until her death. Angela married Paul Skelton on Dec. 5, 1992, and they lived in Cranford since 1998. She was the mother of two incredible boys, 10-year-old Joshua, and 7-year-old Daniel. Her boys were her sole focus as she fought this terrible disease and the strength she showed will live in them as they grow into young men. Angela was active in school activities as a member of the PTA, and volunteered for many school functions for both Joshua and Daniel. Angela was loved by many and had an amazing effect on anyone she came in contact with. Her love of her husband and her children, and the love they had for her will be her lasting legacy. Angela had an infectious smile and personality that will never be forgotten. Please consider donations to Center for Hope Hospice in Scotch Plains, N.J. Her family would like to thank the dedicated staff at Center for Hope and Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.

Published in Star-Ledger on February 27, 2010.

For the sake of convenience, then, I went out after dinner to stations at my parish. But I could see, after turning onto Stillhouse Rd., a dark church: nobody was there. Probably due to the bad weather. I drove to Hamilton and arrived just in time to message Jeff where I'd gone to, from the steps of the church.

I had only enough money for one candle so I lit that before taking a seat. Even though it's a very large church and I was seated in almost the back row, I spied what looked to me like a monstrance, way up there on the altar.

Oh, it can't be! This isn't 'First Friday!'"

The priests at this versus populum church (I almost wrote "ad populum!") imitate BXVI's use of a crucifix on the altar and I tried to tell myself the monstrance was that. But, no, there's no mistaking the difference in their appearance!

While we sang a Lenten hymn from the missalette, the deacon entered almost immediately wearing a cape ¹ which he didn't remove. He told us there would be exposition and benediction "around" stations according to JPII's '91 version. He went to the tabernacle and we got on our knees and he placed the host in the monstrance. He had a censer and he knew well how to use it. His movements were flawless.

We sang O salutaris Hostia and I know my pronunciation isn't very good. Then the stations which, you know, as partial as I am to Liguori's classic, this other version brought tears to my eyes. I wish I had the text as it appeared in the booklet in front of me for reference. In fact, I just ordered the booklet from Amazon. It's that good. The early stations made use of Psalm 6 which is all about being broken. You have any doubt I was crying? Just read verse 6.

And I wish I could find the lyrics of the hymn by Fr. John Broderick set to the tune of Stabat Mater. Well, the words are in the book that's coming, that I can sing to myself if I can't find a recording.

Then he read the day's Gospel (Matt. 5:20-26) and gave a brief, encouraging homily. Then, I'm fuzzy: Tantum Ergo, which my pronunciation isn't too bad for, benediction and the divine praises with the optional ending that I don't have memorized yet:

May the heart of Jesus, in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar, be praised, adored, and loved, with grateful affection, at every moment, in all the tabernacles of the world, even until the end of time. Amen.

It was a beautiful combination and I left the building deciding I would live for Fridays. At the same time, I had a weird impression of the host as some sort of proctor. Now, I just found this at the US Catholic bishops site, from the Committee on Divine Worship, "Devotions and Eucharistic Adoration:"

Eucharistic exposition and benediction are no longer considered devotions, but rather are a part of the Church's official liturgy. Whereas in the past benediction was frequently added on to the end of another service or devotion, this is no longer permitted. Eucharistic exposition and benediction is a complete liturgical service in its own right and is to be celebrated as such.

So, now I have something to think about.

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¹ maybe called a "cope."

I've been a bit on edge lately about the phone ringing. Because it never rings. Or there are certain times of day when it doesn't ring. Evening being one of those times.

The phone rang last night and Jeff answered it. I knew who it was and the news. Jeff told me, "That was P---" and I knew immediately. I just said to him, "Jeff, I cannot believe it." And I couldn't. And I can't. It reminded me of another time the phone rang with incredible news, this time at dawn, ten years ago in July. She had delivered their first child a week early. "I can't believe it!" I was happy for them and scared because ours was due later that same month. Theirs made ours "next."

When her second child was due three years later in February, I was concerned about snow storms. The winter had been terrible and Jeff was even out of town for some of it. This time with her illness. I was again worried that snow would hinder her needed care.

Two months after Christmas, a season when they had given her three to six. I think of her enjoying the presence of God, and I cry because I want her to tell me what it's like.

Bible Quiz Results ... I did crappy :

download my results in PDF

I can see this line making the quotes section of next month's CT -

"I thought to myself, 'I'm doing better with the Mormons than I am with the Catholics,'" the cardinal said with a laugh. "I've had a lot harder time getting (Catholics) to sing together."

"Cardinal: Catholics, Mormons must defend religious freedom together" - Catholic News Service, 2/23/10.