I've been a bit on edge lately about the phone ringing. Because it never rings. Or there are certain times of day when it doesn't ring. Evening being one of those times.

The phone rang last night and Jeff answered it. I knew who it was and the news. Jeff told me, "That was P---" and I knew immediately. I just said to him, "Jeff, I cannot believe it." And I couldn't. And I can't. It reminded me of another time the phone rang with incredible news, this time at dawn, ten years ago in July. She had delivered their first child a week early. "I can't believe it!" I was happy for them and scared because ours was due later that same month. Theirs made ours "next."

When her second child was due three years later in February, I was concerned about snow storms. The winter had been terrible and Jeff was even out of town for some of it. This time with her illness. I was again worried that snow would hinder her needed care.

Two months after Christmas, a season when they had given her three to six. I think of her enjoying the presence of God, and I cry because I want her to tell me what it's like.