To kill pass time in Timmy's Saturday afternoon reading class, sponsored by the State University of New Jersey, we'll play tic-tac-toe ... with a twist: squares are earned with words that fit a pattern. Today's pattern was "-at."

When called upon, a five-year-old classmate said, "Flat," but the teacher couldn't catch it.

The girl repeated, "'Flat,' like your chest."

The teacher wrote 'Lat' on the board and gave the girl the square. Timmy spoke up boldly, "'Lat' isn't a word!" And the teacher hushed him.

I'm keeping a list of the words that the teacher misspells. So far, she has spelled 'boomerang' and 'whack',

I should have learned my lesson four summers ago when I put Kenny through this program.

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I can't say that I ever really noticed the slogan on the back of Jeff's Bungie t-shirt.

I didn't know what or who Bungie was, some software company, I supposed. (Yes, we have those games.)

But Jeff said that today the kids have taken note of his t-shirt and its slogan:

Don't make us kick your ass.

They've been reading it and giggling. Yes, "ass" is printed in red letters on the shirt.